Poem with an explanation: Blurry remorse

Sitting down,
feeling remorse,
as moments of past,
play in the mind.

Thinking of resolution,
and of past ones,
and trying to comfort,
as thoughts flow.

Riding the conveyor,
watching the movie,
as off to the side,
a newsboy calls,
and is ignored,
with reluctance.

Taking time,
and watching the quartz,
and taking time,
and speaking,
with a blur,
and with a thesaurus.

Sitting down,
saying words,
in stillness.

 

This poem is about being with someone who is ill.  It’s about one area of emotion a person with the ill person may feel.

In the first stanza the person with the ill person sits with the ill person.  In their mind, they think back to time that they did not spend with the person.  They think of moments they could have been with the ill person when they were well, but they were not with them.

In the second stanza, the person with the ill person has the sense that they will resolve and change.  They feel like they will, from that point on, show the ill person the attention they should get, even after the ill person becomes better.  However, as they do this, they think of past resolutions to do the same thing, that they have made and they did not keep.  Then, in the stanza, they try to comfort the ill person, but as they do, their mind flows to other things.  They think about their daily life, as they comfort.

In the third stanza, the person has left the ill person and goes about their daily life.  This is represented in the poem using the metaphors of “riding the conveyor” and “watching the movie”.  As they do this though, thoughts of the ill person come back to them (the newsboy calls).  As they do though, the person almost does not want to focus on that, and forces themselves, in some way, to continue their focus on their daily life.

In the fourth stanza, the person visits the ill person again (taking time).  As they do though, they find that they watch the clock.  Then as they are with the ill person, they find that they say things don’t really have a meaning (with a blur) and find that they repeat themselves (with a thesaurus).

In the last stanza, the person is still with the ill person, and they are talking to them, but in some way, the place they are in feels quiet and somehow still and detached from the world.

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