Poem with an explanation: aware

eyes closed,
eyes open,
in the silence,
a voice is heard,
lying still,
amidst the movement,
a fog of voice,
a speech is given,
a quiet certainty,
a vocal one

On MSakran.com, a new set of photography, artwork, poetry and fiction was posted yesterday.  It is the twenty seventh set.  This poem relates to that set.

In the set, the photograph was of pinecones.  That inspired an artwork of an open box with a pine nut.  That inspired a poem about art supplies in a box.  That then inspired a short story about a person in a coma.

In the short story, the scene starts with two people talking about a person in a coma.  They are both resigned that the person will not wake up.

The next scene is about a person who visits the patient with the coma.  This person talks to the patient each day and believes the patient will wake up.

The last scene is of the person who had the coma now awake.  They reveal they were aware of the person who visited them while they were in the coma and they speak about their experience.

This poem here, is based off of the short story.  It’s a poetic expression of the second scene in the story.  It is about the person in the coma and the person who visits them.

In the poem, the two people are represented by the alternate lines.  The odd lines are the person in the coma, and the even lines are the person who visits them.

The lines are in pairs.  Each pair shows a contrast.

The first two lines describe the people.  The person in the coma has eyes closed, while the person visiting them has eyes open.

In the next pair, the person in the coma is silent, while the person visiting them speaks.  These two lines, in addition to describing the silence and the voice, also relate the point that the person in the coma hears the person speaking (in the silence, a voice is heard).

The next two lines again describe the scene.  The person in the coma is still while the person who visits them moves.

In the next pair of lines, the person in the coma speaks in their mind (a fog of voice).  They are aware and want to communicate, but they can’t because of their condition.  Additionally, they experience some incoherence.  In contrast, the person who visits them talks clearly and aloud (a speech is give).

In the last pair of lines, both the patient and the person who visits them are certain that the patient is aware.  Obviously, the patient is aware, but they are, because of their condition, quiet about it.  The visitor expresses their certainty by the fact that they visit and speak.

 
P.S.  Yesterday, M. Sakran asked if any readers had written and self-published any books of poetry, as M. Sakran wanted to learn about the books, with the idea of maybe purchasing a copy of one to read.  No one sent any information about any books yesterday.  If anyone does have a self-published book of poetry, please let M. Sakran know about it by using the box in yesterday’s post.  Think of this as an opportunity to reach a prospective customer.

Advertisements