Poem with an explanation: the darkness of irrationality

The darkness of irrationality,
in the twilight of sensibility,
the sounds and glimpses,
transform and grow,
and there in the shadows,
where the metal turns,
translucent forms,
hide in the fog.

 

This poem is about someone being afraid.  They are home alone, at night, and a sense of fear comes over them.

The first line, The darkness of irrationality, shows that the person’s fear isn’t founded on anything specific.  They have a fear that there is someone outside their home who wants to come inside and do them harm.  The person though, isn’t afraid of someone they know, or someone nearby, or something they heard in the news.  They are simply afraid.  They have a fear of what might or could be.

The second line, in the twilight of sensibility, is meant to contrast with the first.  While the person’s general fear is irrational, the idea of their fear isn’t.  There could be someone outside.  There is the real possibility of a home invasion or some other kind of harm.  There is a sense of sensibility in the person being aware and cautious of the possibility.  The person though, goes to the level of irrationality in the sense that they are continuously afraid of the idea.

The first line and the second line are meant to show a contrast through their form.  Both lines are ten syllables long.  The first line has darkness, while the second has twilight.  The first line has irrationality, while the second has sensibility.  The equal lengths paired with the opposite words shows the contrast of the ideas.

The third line, the sounds and glimpses, describes the audial and visual things that increase the person’s fear.  The person hears many noises.  Their heater makes a noise.  Their refrigerator makes a noise.  The house creaks.  They also see things like reflections or things out of the corner of their eye.  These things are interpreted by the person as signs of what they fear.  They believe each noise is someone outside and each sight might be someone inside.

The fourth line, transform and grow, refers to the sounds and glimpses of the third line.  As the person grows more afraid, the idea of what could be causing the sounds and glimpses grows.  The person becomes more afraid with each instance.

The fifth and sixth lines, and there in the shadows, where the metal turns, describes the unseen places of the person’s house.  They imagine that there is someone outside of these places trying to get in.  This “getting in” is described as a lock turning or, where the metal turns.  They have the horror movie image of a lock slowly turning, in their mind.

The eighth line, translucent forms, describes who the person is afraid of.  It is a vague image of a person.  It is what they imagine an intruder would look like.  It is a composite of criminal images they have seen.  The image is vague and not defined because the person is afraid of an idea more than of an actual person.  The vagueness is shown through the idea of the forms being translucent.

The last line, hide in the fog, shows that, partially, the person is afraid of the unknown.  They are afraid of what they can’t see outside.  Also, it shows the confusion of their fear.

This poem is about a person afraid alone at night in their house.  The idea of it is to describe, in some sense, the haziness of the person’s fear.  The person is afraid, but their fear, in some sense, isn’t based on anything substantial.  The person is mainly afraid of the possibility of something.  They, in some sense, want to be on guard for it.

The poem isn’t meant to criticize the person for their fear.  Describing the fear as irrational isn’t meant to imply that the person is.  The idea of the poem is meant to describe how an irrational fear can grow, even in a rational person, under certain conditions.

P. S. Do you like poems with explanations? Did you know that M. Sakran has an eBook of them?  It is true.  You can learn more about the eBook and purchase a copy from here: Understanding: poems with explanations.

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Experimental Poetry Form: rhyming with syllable count for the rhyming words

This experimental poetry form focuses on rhyming, with the added feature of syllable count for the rhyming words.  Here are the specifics of the form:

One stanza

Six lines

Five words per line

Lines 1 and 4 rhyme

Lines 2 and 5 rhyme

Lines 3 and 6 rhyme

Lines 1 and 4 each end with a one syllable word

Lines 2 and 5 each end with a two syllable word

Lines 3 and 6 each end with a three syllable word

 

Here is an example poem to illustrate the form:

Radio play

There alone on the chair,
sitting by the radio seeing,
the man hiding there silently,
and imagining his cold glare,
knowing he’s a fictional being,
yet still running off violently.

Experimental Poetry Form: 7-6-5

This experimental poetry form is called 7-6-5.  It has:

7 lines

6 iambic feet per line

5 spaces of indention on the even lines

The form looks as follows:

** ** ** ** ** **
     ** ** ** ** ** **
** ** ** ** ** **
     ** ** ** ** ** **
** ** ** ** ** **
     ** ** ** ** ** **
** ** ** ** ** **

The form is somewhat long, both in terms of line length (with twelve syllables per line) and in total length, and the idea is to see how this effects the expression and also how it interacts with the longer indentions.  Here is an example poem:

Medical result

Between the pain and what awaits the day moves slow,
     as eyes and heart do race and jump about the soul,
and will and thought do seek a cave where thoughts move by,
     and flame and wind and all the hail can’t fall or be.
The time will strike and clouds will flash as eyes are blind,
     and in a word the house will fall or stay as is,
and all the world that lives inside will shake and fall.

Poem: There’s a feeling

There’s a feeling,
waking up,
in the middle of the night,
and being filled with terror,
at something so harsh,
and then realizing,
that it was a dream,
and feeling that calm,
and relief,
and peace.

 

There’s also a feeling,
waking up,
in the middle of the night,
and being filled with terror,
at something so harsh,
and then realizing,
that it isn’t a dream,
and feeling that chaos,
and dread,
and fear.

Poem: from the hill, in the valley

And there,
from the hill,
they ran,
the jackals,
the wolves,
the laughing dogs,

alone,
in the valley,
meekness stood,

small,
shaking,
uncertain with fear.

The dust flew,
and rocks flew,
and hatred flew,
as the wild,
moved as though one.

There,
in the valley,
the meekness stood.

And as the eyes gleamed,
flashes occurred,
of figures in black.

Confusion,
and terror,
as clouds were lifted,
came upon,
the now shrieking,
coyotes.

The figures stood,
and without eyes,
stared at the dust.

And there on the hill,
they ran,
the jackals,
the wolves,
the laughing dogs,

as with others,
in the valley,
meekness stood.
 
P.S.  Right now, you can send a poem to M. Sakran for consideration.  If M. Sakran likes your poem, it might be published on this blog.

If you’re interested, then go to the Considerations page to learn more.  While the information on the page is a little long, the basic idea is pretty simple.  It’s basically three steps:

  1. Choose something from one or more of the following categories on this blog: Artwork Inspiration, Photo Inspiration, Poetry Topic Ideas, or Experimental Poetry Form. You can find things from the Posts List page.
  2.  

  3. Write a poem using that something.
  4.  

  5. Send the poem to M. Sakran.

That’s really the basic idea.  It’s easy.  Just see the Considerations page for more information.

Poem with an explanation: Where were you?

Where were you,
upon that day,
when specters came,
and had their way?

Where were you,
amongst the wail,
as teeth did bite,
and claws did flail?

Where were you,
amongst the cries,
as blood did flow,
whilst hope demise?

Where were you,
unlike the one,
although so small,
his fear was none?

Where were you,
like days of past,
when he did fight,
up to the last?

Where were you,
as there one lay,
when specters came,
and had their way?

 

This poem is an admonition.  The speaker in the poem is chastising someone for not helping them in their time of need.  In the poem, there are three characters and one group of characters.  There is the one asking the questions, the one he is asking them to, the one from the past, and the specters.

In this poem, the one speaking is describing being attacked.  He is attacked by those he calls specters.  The poem takes place after the attack.

In the first stanza, the speaker questions someone who did not help him.  He asks why the one was not there when he was attacked.

In the second stanza, the speaker describes the attack.  He describes crying out and being hurt.  He again asks, why there was no help.

In the third stanza, the speaker describes the finality of the attack.  He describes his pain, the severity of the attack and his hope failing.

In the fourth stanza, the poem takes a turn.  A new character is introduced.  This character is someone from the past who is no longer there.  This character is someone the speaker could and did rely on in the past.  In this stanza, the speaker questions the one who didn’t help him again.  He makes a comparison between this one and the one from the past.  He describes the courage of the one from the past.

In the fifth stanza, the speaker continues the idea of the stanza before.  He describes this one from the past fighting for him until the last moment.

The sixth stanza comes back to ideas from before.  It describes the result of the attack and asks again why there was no help.

This poem describes a general idea.  It describes someone experiencing pain from some other group (whether physical or emotional or both) and questioning why their friend did not help them.  Imagine someone being bullied by a group and seeing their friend stand by and do nothing.  This is the general idea, although the notion could be applied to other situations, some more realistic and some more metaphorical.

In the poem, the one experiencing pain remembers someone from their past who used to help them, but is no longer there, and wonders why their current friend did not help them.

Although the one who didn’t help doesn’t answer the questions in the poem, the answer is, that they were afraid.  They were afraid of what would happen to themselves if they intervened in the situation, and so they did nothing.

This is a form poem.  There are six stanzas that all follow the same form.  The form is:

Line 1: Where were you (a three syllable line)
Line 2: 4 syllables/Rhyming line
Line 3: 4 syllables
Line 4: 4 syllables/Rhyming line/Ends in a question mark

Additionally, the last stanza mirrors the first.  In the two stanzas, lines 1, 3 and 4 match.  Additionally, the rhyming sound is the same.

*****

Do you like poems with explanations?  Do you like to support writers whose work you enjoy?

M. Sakran has a self-published book of poems with explanations. It is called Understanding: poems with explanations and is available for purchase as an eBook for an available price of $0.99. If you like poems with explanations and like to support writers whose work you enjoy, then consider purchasing a copy today.

Poem with an explanation: the lights are dim this year

From fear,
of height and task,
the lights are dim this year,
and there within the empty walls,
sand flows.

 

This poem is about Christmas lights.  The first two lines give a reason for something, the third line says what the something is, and the last two lines describe the consequence.

In the poem, a person does not put Christmas lights on their home.  This is stated in the third line as “the lights are dim this year”.  The reason the person does not put up the lights is that they are afraid of something (From fear).  The person is afraid of climbing up on their roof (of height) and of the work that putting up lights will involve (and task).

Because the person does not put up Christmas lights, there is a consequence.  On the inside, the person wants to put up the lights (or, rather, wants the lights to be up).  The person though does not do what they want, because of the fear they have.  This causes a sense of discomfort in the person.  This discomfort comes from the fact that there is only a short time each year that the person can have Christmas lights on their house, and if they don’t put them up, they will miss their opportunity.  These ideas are described in the last two lines.

In the fourth line of the poem, and there within the empty walls, there is a literal and figurative meaning.  On the literal side, because the person has been affected by not putting up lights outside of their home, it has caused them stress, which has led to them not decorating the inside of their house as much as they would have.  That is why the walls of their house are described as empty.  In a figurative sense, the person is empty inside because they have not done something they wanted to do.  This emptiness is manifested in the fifth line.

In the fifth line, sand flows, the somewhat cliché idea of sand flowing to signify time flowing is used.  The cliché is used because the person has only taken one step in the feeling.  They have not gone to a deeper place.  All they feel, is the time flowing by and their opportunity to put lights up going away.  The person hasn’t thought more about it.

In addition to this being a poem about Christmas lights, it also has a broader meaning.  It is more generally, a poem about missed opportunity.  The poem describes a situation where an opportunity was willfully being missed, and yet there was still time to take the opportunity.  It describes the feeling of waiting while the time disappears.  It focuses on the consciousness of missing an opportunity.

This poem is a cinquain.  It has five lines, is written in iambic meter and follows the syllable and stress pattern of one type of the form.  Because the form was short, it gave a sense of trying to think of more poignant ideas and phrases to get the message across.

*****

Do you like poems with explanations?  Do you like to support writers whose work you enjoy?

M. Sakran has a self-published book of poems with explanations. It is called Understanding: poems with explanations and is available for purchase as an eBook for an available price of $0.99. If you like poems with explanations and like to support writers whose work you enjoy, then consider purchasing a copy today.

Poem with an explanation: A timeless space

A timeless space,
where time does not seem to flow,
where time is wanted to flow,
where time is not wanted to flow.

Barren,
and cold,
under lights,
that aren’t real.

Waiting,
and waiting,
and fearing the specter,
with silent steps,
that may be bring something,
that crushes the soul.

 

This poem is about waiting for the results of someone’s operation in a hospital waiting room.

The room is described as A timeless space, because while there, time does not seem the same as it used to.  As described in the poem, it is a place, where time does not seem to flow.

The next two lines of the first stanza, describe a conflicting emotion.  On the one hand, while waiting in the room, there is a sense of wanting time to move forward, so that the outcome can be known.  On the other hand, there is dread over what the outcome may be, and so, there is a sense of not wanting time to move forward, so as to delay knowing.

The next stanza describes the physical appearance of the room.  It is barren and cold and the fluorescent lights are described as not being real.  The room has a starkness to it, that matches the anticipatory emotion.

In the last stanza, there is waiting, and then as time does not seem to move, there is more waiting, and there is fear of the specter, which represents the person who will bring the news.  Before the results are known, this person is seen as something dreadful.

The specter, moves with silent steps, to signify one, that a specter floats, and two, that the hospital person may be wearing tennis shoes which are quiet when walking in.

The last two lines describe the fear of the worst possible outcome.

In terms of form, this poem has three stanzas.  The first stanza refers to time, the second refers to the physical room, and the third refers to waiting and fear.

The first stanza is four lines, the second is four lines, and the third is six lines long.

In the first stanza, each line refers to time.  Also, the last three lines all start with where time and end in to flow.  The last two lines are the same except for the last line having the word not.

The second stanza has the fewest words of the three stanzas and all its lines have three words or less.

In terms of form, in the last stanza, waiting is repeated in the first and second lines.

Poem Series: Experimental Poetry Forms: Eight: The dog outside

A plate of food with knife and fork,
  the dog outside does make a sound,
a feeling of some right and wrong,
and though inertia adds a weight,
the thought of justice fills the mind,
and so the chair is pushed on out,
and steps go to the nearby door,
and food goes in the bowl with sound.

The work is done, a glass is filled,
  the dog outside pants in the heat,
though rationality does speak,
and though it sounds most clearly sure,
a sense the words it says are false,
does cause the legs to move away,
the handle then is slowly turned,
and water flows for the poor hound.

The lightning strikes and thunder cracks,
  the dog outside whimpers in fear,
the logic says that all is fine,
that what is feared is far away,
that there outside all is alright,
but then the thought of being there,
does cause the hand to turn the knob,
and have the dog feel like it’s found.

An ache is felt within the back,
  the dog outside takes time to stand,
and though it seems to be excess,
as the small pills fall in the hand,
those words come back and fill the ears,
and as the pain does the twinge again,
a note is made on the short list,
and the next day new pills abound.

Alone without a voice nearby,
  the dog outside is still and stares,
and though the sense is felt inside,
it takes some time to realize,
that there outside it is felt too,
and so a thought does then occur,
and the small ball is carried out,
and the dog jumps with a large bound.

The dog next door did run away,
  the dog outside sits by the fence,
and though a search is made for days,
the importance of it is low,
until the eyes of the dog stare,
and ask for help without loud words,
and then again the search goes on,
as cars do drive and search around.

The vet was called, the time was set,
  the dog outside did hesitate,
the words were said that this was good,
and words were said of benefit,
but in the car the dog did shake,
and as it went some tears did fall,
and then the sense of this from past,
had empathy grow in a mound.

The man outside did fall and cringe,
  the dog outside did understand,
and the dog barked at the near fence,
and the dog barked with a loud sound,
and men did come in uniforms,
to make the dog have silence then,
but they did see the man who fell,
and then the dog did bark unbound.

 

(38/40) Experimental Poetry Form: Eight