Experimental Poetry Form: 8/30/3 with choice

The following experimental poetry form combines line count, syllable count and rhyme in a form that has some choice regarding its application.

In the form there are:

Eight lines.  The poet can choose the stanza structure for those lines.

Thirty syllables.  There is no syllable count per line requirement.  The poet can choose how many syllables are in each line under the thirty syllable restriction.

Three lines that rhyme.  The poet can choose which three of the eight lines rhyme.

Here is an example poem written in the form:

X-rays,
dangerous?

What gave you that idea?

That thick lead wall,
that’s so tall?

That’s just there …

BEEP

hold on, have to run to the hall.

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Poetry topic idea: ice

Today’s poetry topic idea is ice.  Ice appears in many places and situations and each comes with a different connotation for poetry.

As examples, ice can appear:

  • on roads
  •  

  • as glaciers
  •  

  • as icebergs
  •  

  • in drinks
  •  

  • in coolers
  •  

  • in freezers
  •  

  • as icicles
  •  

  • in medical settings
  •  

  • under trays of food in buffets

Each of these places and situations can be used differently in poetry.  A poet could use ice directly, as a metaphor for something or as a way to discuss an idea.

Here is an example poem using ice:

running with the cooler,
instead of sodas,
a heart

Poem with an explanation: A statue

A statue

So very tired,
very tired,

tired.

Looking out,
a statue of stillness,
with a walking will,
and a silent form,
a sigh of breath,
is quiet.

Slices of trees,
a blending of plants,
something of philosophy,
and chemistry,
a cbc,
and the number’s low.

A sigh of breath,
so very tired,
a fortnight flows,
and there’s the sun,
detachment speaks,
and skies grow dark.

 

This poem is about a person with anemia.  The person has a low red blood count for some reason, and has low energy.

In the first two stanzas of the poem, the expression of the person’s condition is expressed.  The person is tired.  It is an overwhelming thing.  Three times in these two stanzas the word tired is used.  The lines get progressively shorter, to symbolize the person losing their breath as they try to say that they’re tired.  The line break between the stanzas also symbolizes this.

The next stanza is about the difference between how the person feels in their mind and how they feel in their body.  The person is looking out at the world (Looking out), but because of their anemia, they can’t move much (a statue of stillness).  They want to be active (with a walking will) but their weakness will not let them (and a silent form).  The person has labored breathing (a sigh of breath) but they can’t speak to express themselves (is quiet).

At some point, the person goes to the doctor because of how they feel.  At this point they just feel tired, but their anemia and the reason for it have not been told to them.  The person gets a blood test that they get back as a report.

The blood test comes back on pieces of paper (Slices of trees).  The papers have a lot of information on them in ink (a blending of plants).  There are many numbers (something of philosophy) and information from various blood measurements (and chemistry).  The person had a complete blood count test (cbc) and it shows that their red blood cell count is low (and the number’s low).

The person has to wait for the interpretation of the results to know what is causing the anemia they have.  While they are waiting, they grow weaker (A sigh of breath, so very tired).  They wait two weeks (a fortnight flows) and then in the morning (and there’s the sun) they go to the doctor.  The doctor speaks to them (detachment speaks) and tells them that their anemia is cause by something serious (and skies grow dark).

P. S. Do you like poems with explanations? Would you like to buy a copy of an eBook of them?  You can!  You can purchase a copy of M. Sakran’s self-published collection of poems with explanations called, Understanding: poems with explanations.  It has twenty poems, each with a detailed explanation.  If you like explained poems, you should buy a copy.

P. S. S. There is a new set of photography, artwork, poetry and fiction on MSakran.com. The photograph is of a moth, the artwork is of a banana, and the poetry combines the two ideas into a poem about a person in a wheel chair.  The poem was used as the basis for the short story.  Go to MSakran.com to see the set.

Experimental Poetry Form: 7-6-5

This experimental poetry form is called 7-6-5.  It has:

7 lines

6 iambic feet per line

5 spaces of indention on the even lines

The form looks as follows:

** ** ** ** ** **
     ** ** ** ** ** **
** ** ** ** ** **
     ** ** ** ** ** **
** ** ** ** ** **
     ** ** ** ** ** **
** ** ** ** ** **

The form is somewhat long, both in terms of line length (with twelve syllables per line) and in total length, and the idea is to see how this effects the expression and also how it interacts with the longer indentions.  Here is an example poem:

Medical result

Between the pain and what awaits the day moves slow,
     as eyes and heart do race and jump about the soul,
and will and thought do seek a cave where thoughts move by,
     and flame and wind and all the hail can’t fall or be.
The time will strike and clouds will flash as eyes are blind,
     and in a word the house will fall or stay as is,
and all the world that lives inside will shake and fall.

Poem with an explanation: that eyes will see

Beside the straw,
upon the dusty ground,
the herbs lie,
and the rock that shines,
away the rocks,
are pushed away,
and as eyes close,
there is hope,
that hawks will see,
and that eyes will see.

This poem is about a person experiencing a medical condition that may have a sudden effect.  Think of a person with, for example, blood sugar problems, and they are concerned of a sudden change.

The person is about to go to sleep on their bed (the straw).  In their concern, they place medicine beside them on the floor (upon the dusty ground, the herbs lie).  They also have a phone on the floor (and the rock that shines – think of someone on a mountain shining a mirror so they can be seen).

The person leaves the door of their bedroom unlocked (away the rocks, are pushed away).  And as the person sleeps (and as eyes close), they hope that if something happens that others who live with them will come by (that hawks will see) and that they themselves will be alright and wake up in the morning (and that eyes will see).

The imagery used in the poem was that of a lone person in a rocky desert place, like might be seen in a western movie.  That was used to convey the idea of the person with the medical condition.

In some ways this is a poem about vulnerability.  The person realizes they may need help both from medicine and from others and they take steps for both of these.

There is some form to the poem, although it was not intentional.  The lines have a word count pattern of 3,4,3,5,3,3,4,3,4,5.  As can be seen all of the lines have a word count of 3, 4 or 5 lines.  Additionally, the poem is 10 lines long, which might be seen as a good number of lines for a form.

Poem with an explanation: aware

eyes closed,
eyes open,
in the silence,
a voice is heard,
lying still,
amidst the movement,
a fog of voice,
a speech is given,
a quiet certainty,
a vocal one

On MSakran.com, a new set of photography, artwork, poetry and fiction was posted yesterday.  It is the twenty seventh set.  This poem relates to that set.

In the set, the photograph was of pinecones.  That inspired an artwork of an open box with a pine nut.  That inspired a poem about art supplies in a box.  That then inspired a short story about a person in a coma.

In the short story, the scene starts with two people talking about a person in a coma.  They are both resigned that the person will not wake up.

The next scene is about a person who visits the patient with the coma.  This person talks to the patient each day and believes the patient will wake up.

The last scene is of the person who had the coma now awake.  They reveal they were aware of the person who visited them while they were in the coma and they speak about their experience.

This poem here, is based off of the short story.  It’s a poetic expression of the second scene in the story.  It is about the person in the coma and the person who visits them.

In the poem, the two people are represented by the alternate lines.  The odd lines are the person in the coma, and the even lines are the person who visits them.

The lines are in pairs.  Each pair shows a contrast.

The first two lines describe the people.  The person in the coma has eyes closed, while the person visiting them has eyes open.

In the next pair, the person in the coma is silent, while the person visiting them speaks.  These two lines, in addition to describing the silence and the voice, also relate the point that the person in the coma hears the person speaking (in the silence, a voice is heard).

The next two lines again describe the scene.  The person in the coma is still while the person who visits them moves.

In the next pair of lines, the person in the coma speaks in their mind (a fog of voice).  They are aware and want to communicate, but they can’t because of their condition.  Additionally, they experience some incoherence.  In contrast, the person who visits them talks clearly and aloud (a speech is give).

In the last pair of lines, both the patient and the person who visits them are certain that the patient is aware.  Obviously, the patient is aware, but they are, because of their condition, quiet about it.  The visitor expresses their certainty by the fact that they visit and speak.

 
P.S.  Yesterday, M. Sakran asked if any readers had written and self-published any books of poetry, as M. Sakran wanted to learn about the books, with the idea of maybe purchasing a copy of one to read.  No one sent any information about any books yesterday.  If anyone does have a self-published book of poetry, please let M. Sakran know about it by using the box in yesterday’s post.  Think of this as an opportunity to reach a prospective customer.

Poem with an explanation: Two minutes

Two minutes.  Two minutes of watching.  Two minutes as the drips make their way down the clear path.  Two minutes as thoughts of side effects flow in the mind.  Two minutes as thoughts of disease flow in the mind.  Two minutes as years pass.

 

This poem is about a person receiving medication via IV.  The medication is started and the person watches as it starts at the bag, flows down the tube, and reaches their vein.  The process takes two minutes.

The first sentence states the time.  It is meant to encapsulate what is happening.  The beginning and end of the event is contained in it.  It says nothing else so as to emphasize the idea.

The second sentence describes the person watching the medication flow.  It’s meant to emphasize that the person spends the entire two minutes watching.  They stare, in a way, as the medication flows.

The third sentence describes the medication flowing.  The idea of drips is both literal and figurative.  It is meant to show the slowness and methodical quality of what is happening.  The path is clear in a literal sense, because the tube is clear, but also figuratively in that the person understands their situation.

In the fourth sentence, the person thinks of the side effects of the medication.  The thoughts about this flow in their mind similarly to how the medication flows in the tube.  The person is worried.

In the fifth sentence, the person thinks of the disease they have that requires the medication.  Again, the ideas about this flow in their mind like the medication.

In the last sentence, the two minutes of watching the medication flow are so significant in what they mean to the person, that those two minutes are like years.

In terms of form, this poem was written as prose.  Each sentence starts with (or only contains) Two minutes.  The third through the sixth sentences all start with Two minutes as.  The fourth and fifth sentences are almost the same.  One says side effects and the other says disease.

*****

Do you like poems with explanations?  Do you like to support writers whose work you enjoy?

M. Sakran has a self-published book of poems with explanations. It is called Understanding: poems with explanations and is available for purchase as an eBook for an available price of $0.99. If you like poems with explanations and like to support writers whose work you enjoy, then consider purchasing a copy today.

Poem with an explanation: A timeless space

A timeless space,
where time does not seem to flow,
where time is wanted to flow,
where time is not wanted to flow.

Barren,
and cold,
under lights,
that aren’t real.

Waiting,
and waiting,
and fearing the specter,
with silent steps,
that may be bring something,
that crushes the soul.

 

This poem is about waiting for the results of someone’s operation in a hospital waiting room.

The room is described as A timeless space, because while there, time does not seem the same as it used to.  As described in the poem, it is a place, where time does not seem to flow.

The next two lines of the first stanza, describe a conflicting emotion.  On the one hand, while waiting in the room, there is a sense of wanting time to move forward, so that the outcome can be known.  On the other hand, there is dread over what the outcome may be, and so, there is a sense of not wanting time to move forward, so as to delay knowing.

The next stanza describes the physical appearance of the room.  It is barren and cold and the fluorescent lights are described as not being real.  The room has a starkness to it, that matches the anticipatory emotion.

In the last stanza, there is waiting, and then as time does not seem to move, there is more waiting, and there is fear of the specter, which represents the person who will bring the news.  Before the results are known, this person is seen as something dreadful.

The specter, moves with silent steps, to signify one, that a specter floats, and two, that the hospital person may be wearing tennis shoes which are quiet when walking in.

The last two lines describe the fear of the worst possible outcome.

In terms of form, this poem has three stanzas.  The first stanza refers to time, the second refers to the physical room, and the third refers to waiting and fear.

The first stanza is four lines, the second is four lines, and the third is six lines long.

In the first stanza, each line refers to time.  Also, the last three lines all start with where time and end in to flow.  The last two lines are the same except for the last line having the word not.

The second stanza has the fewest words of the three stanzas and all its lines have three words or less.

In terms of form, in the last stanza, waiting is repeated in the first and second lines.