Poem: he wondered why

He did see her,
when he came by,
and thought that she,
did see him too.

One day he asked,
if she might like,
to spend a day,
about with him.

She thought and said,
that that was fine,
and she would like,
such an idea.

But when he left,
her friends did say,
“No, not with him,
he is a dud.”

She thought and felt,
that what they thought,
did mean so much,
to who she was.

She said to them,
she did not think,
and she would not,
go out with him.

The next day came,
and he came by,
and she went off,
and hid away.

Two days did pass,
and he did show,
to ask about,
the day agreed.

But like before,
she hid away,
and he stood there,
right there alone.

But with much hope,
he did come by,
upon the day,
that was agreed.

He stood with hope,
and flowers too,
and waited there,
for her to be.

But she was off,
with all of them,
who said that he,
was such a dud.

And they did laugh,
aloud with glee,
but in her heart,
she knew his pain.

And there he stood,
as time did pass,
until the truth,
did fill his mind.

He knew inside,
like times before,
that what he saw,
was a mirage.

He walked away,
and wondered why,
she did not pause,
before her words.

He walked away,
and wondered why,
she did not speak,
the truth to him.

It seemed to him,
it would have been,
a better scene,
had she said no.

It seemed to him,
it would have been,
a better scene,
had she spoke truth.

He walked away,
and wondered why,
he spoke those words,
those days ago.

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Experimental Poetry Form: Eight, eight and first words

This experimental poetry form called is eight, eight and first words.  In the form, there are eight lines.  Each line has eight words.  There is a word pattern as follows:

The first word of the second line, is the second word of the first line.

The first word of the third line, is the third word of the first line.

The first word of the fourth line, is the fourth word of the first line.

.
.
.

The first word of the eighth line, is the eighth word of the first line.

The form looks as follows with *’s representing words that aren’t repeated with any intention, and letters representing repeated words:

ABCDEFGH
B*******
C*******
D*******
E*******
F*******
G*******
H*******

Here is an example poem:

There thinking back upon the past decision made,
thinking of the moment of choice that day,
back in the place with the stone pathways,
upon the ground with the designation of thought,
the deep sense of stepping forward with words,
past decisions though cannot be changed with sense,
decision is a stone with a great weight,
made by moments of past thoughts and times.

Some issues to keep in mind when using the form are, first, to think about the form of words in the first line.  The form of verb or whether a noun is singular or plural can affect its use as the first word of another line.  Also, counting by words may not be as natural to some as counting by syllables.  Counting the words of each line as each is written would be advisable.  Thirdly, there is the idea that the poem must make sense in the form.  It must fit within it and still have some clarity.

Poem with an explanation: Why not wear blue?

“Why not wear blue?”

“Because it wouldn’t work.”

“Have you tried it?”

“No, but why would a person try that?  It wouldn’t work.”

“How do you know unless you try?”

“You could justify any idea with that.”

“Just give it a try.”

“Just to prove it doesn’t work?”

“You don’t know that.”

“It’s obvious.”

“You just don’t want to succeed.”

“You just keep criticizing when your advice isn’t taken.”

“If you really wanted to change you would try it.”

“Just go away.”

 

This poem is a simplification of a conversation between two people.  In the poem one person has something about themselves they have been trying to change for some time.  It could be losing weight, for example.

The person has been working toward this goal for some time, with little success.  Because of this, people have started giving them advice.  Having heard what they consider to be random and bad advice too many times, the person gets frustrated when they hear it.  The people giving advice, viewing themselves as just wanting to help, wonder why their advice isn’t being followed, and since it isn’t being followed, they question the level of motivation of the other person.  The conversations come with frustration, and generally follow the pattern of the poem.

In the first line of the poem, the advice giver gives some piece of advice.  They heard it somewhere.  Maybe on a morning news show or from a magazine.  A celebrity said it.  The advice giver values this kind of advice.

The person with the situation, says that the advice wouldn’t work.  They view the advice as random.  They have a disdain for “tips and tricks” types of advice.  Having struggled to make a change, they view advice that claims to make things easy with suspicion.

The person giving the advice then questions the other person.  They ask if they have tried the advice.  They are implying a way of thinking that they will ask later, “How does a person know something won’t work unless they’ve tried it.”

The person with the situation responds by basically stating that the advice is bad.

The other person then states their advice philosophy, “How do you know unless you try?”

The one with the situation though resents this idea.  Having heard, from their perspective, all sorts of outlandish and random advice, they view this with resentment.  Their rebuttal is to extend the philosophy.  They say that if the only way to know if something works is to try it, then that would justify trying anything, no matter how absurd it might be.

The advice giver doesn’t see things that way though.  As far as they are concerned, they got the advice from a source they trust.  Also, they view the advice as harmless.  They feel that if it works, things will be better, and if it doesn’t, little will be lost.

This though makes the person with the situation more frustrated.  They feel like they are constantly being called upon to prove bad advice doesn’t work.  They feel like they have been repeatedly given bad advice and then asked to test it out.  They are tired of it.

The advice giver though, holds on to the idea that a person can’t really know if something works or not, unless they try it.

The person with the situation though sees this as a faulty way of thinking.  To them the advice is obviously bad, and there is no reason to go through the motion of proving it just to satisfy someone else.

At this point, the advice giver themselves becomes frustrated.  Because the person with the situation won’t take what they think is good advice, they question the person’s motivation to succeed.  They are basically thinking that if the person does not want to take their advice, the only reason must be that the person does not really want to change.

The person with the situation though resents this.  As far as they are concerned, this is a pattern they have heard before.  They get bad advice, they don’t take it, and they are criticized for it.  They are tired of getting what they perceive to be weird and random suggestions, and then being criticized for not following them.

The person giving the advice comes back to their refrain.  They hold onto the idea that advice that seems harmless should be tried.  They can’t see what it would hurt.

The other person, being tired of the conversation and of constantly feeling like they have to defend their actions, tells the person to go away.

This poem is about what may be a familiar situation in life, that of giving and getting advice.  It examines the idea of advice being given over an extended period of time.  It looks at the different points of view and the frustration.

P. S. If you like poems with explanations, consider purchasing a copy of Understanding: poems with explanations.

Bilingual Poem: the sign

O’ the post it did have a large sign,
by the road on the side of the line,
o’ the sign it did say,
you who drive look away,
don’t read signs when you drive it’s not fine.

 

O’ el poste lo hizo haber una señal grande,
cerca la calle en el lado de la línea,
o’ la señal lo hizo decir,
ustedes que conducen miran lejos,
no leen señales cuando ustedes conducen lo no es buen.

Experimental Poetry Form: Anapestic meter with a mirror rhyming scheme

Today’s experimental poetry form uses anapestic meter with a mirror rhyming scheme.

In this form, there are eight lines, each with three anapestic feet.  Anapestic meter is what you might hear in a limerick.

The rhyming scheme is a mirror rhyming scheme and is as follows: ABCDDCBA.

Here is an example poem:

There a small piece of paper was left,
just around on a desk by a chair,
it was left with no thought one would see,
but the eyes and the mind they did peer,
as the feet of the cat they drew near,
and the sense of the right it did flee,
as the eyes there so wide they did glare,
and there snoop in a way o’ so deft.

Poem with an explanation: Two women

sitting on the chair,
in the silence of the room,
back to the story

sitting on the chair,
in the music of the room,
back to the story

 

This poem contrasts the experiences of two women.  Before the poem begins, both women are in similar circumstances.  Both women are invited to the same party.  Both women are introverts and don’t do well in social situations.  They have a hard time talking to strangers, they are not knowledgeable of popular culture, and they don’t communicate well in large groups.

Under these circumstances, the first woman (the one in the first stanza) decides not to go to the party.  She feels that if she goes, she won’t be able to talk to others or interact with a large group, and that she will feel uncomfortable or lonely.

The second woman (the one in the second stanza) decides to go to the party.  She feels lonely at home and thinks that she might meet people and make friends at the party.  She believes that she will feel part of a group if she goes and that she will feel less lonely going than if she stayed at home.

In the poem, it turns out that the first woman made the better decision.

When the poem starts, it is an hour into the party.  The first woman, as described in the first stanza, is sitting at home in a chair.  She is reading a novel.  There is a point where she realizes she is alone, when she notices the silence in the room.  For a moment this makes her feel lonely, but then she escapes into the story of her novel.

The second woman, as described in the second stanza, is sitting alone in a chair at the party.  She is a wallflower.  Although she had wanted to interact with others, her shyness and lack of social skills prevents her.  Also, no one at the party initiates interaction with her.

The second woman is sitting by herself, and she notices the music of the room.  There is talking and dancing and music and a party going on around her.  She isn’t part of it though, and sitting there makes her feel awkward.  She feels self-conscious and thinks that people are noticing her by herself.  She doesn’t know where to look or what to do so that she doesn’t look like she is doing nothing.  As a means of escape, she daydreams.  When she daydreams, she has moments where she feels like she is no longer in the room, and it provides her comfort.

In the poem, the first woman is able to be more comfortable and feel less lonely, ironically, because she is alone.  Unlike the second woman, who has her aloneness accentuated by people around her who seem to be a group she is not part of, the first woman is better able to ignore the fact that she is alone because there is no one there to remind her of it.

In terms of form, this poem is made up of two poems.  Each stanza is a 5/7/5 haiku.

Both stanzas are almost identical.  There is only one word of difference between the two.  The first stanza has “silence” and the second has “music”.  In a twist from how the poem might at first be read, the silence of the first stanza turns out to be less lonely causing than the music of the second.

 

P. S.  M. Sakran was wondering if anyone would be interested in participating in a poem with an explanation collaboration. The basic idea would be that a person would write a poem, and M. Sakran would write an explanation of it.  The details would have to be worked out, but it might be something that could be interesting.  If anyone is interested in this idea, please contact M. Sakran using the form on the Contact Page.  Thank you.

Bilingual Poem: Hello to The Philippines

Hello to The Philippines

 

Shaped by the Earth,
shaped by the sea,
shaped by the past

a mixture of places,
a mixture of peoples,
a mixture of pasts

influence from without,
influence from within

stand atop the mountain,
look out at all you see

working separately,
yet all together,
seek what could be,
that lies ahead

hello to The Philippines

 

 

Hullo a las Islas Filipinas

 

determinarion por la Tierra,
determinarion por el mar,
determinarion por el pasado

una mezcla de lugares,
una mezcla de gentes,
una mezcla de pasados

influencia de sin,
influencia de dentro de

están de pie en la cumber de la montaña,
miran fuera en todos Ustedes ven

trabajaron por separado,
todavía todos juntos,
buscan lo que poder está,
ese está antes

hullo a las Islas Filipinas

Poetry topic idea: hunger

Today’s poetry topic idea is hunger.  Here are some ways to use it in poetry:

  • A poet could write about a momentary hunger for food. Think of an experience where a person misses a meal.  Think of the sensation of hunger they might feel.  This could be used in poetry.
  •  

  • As an alternative, a poet could write about a sustained hunger for food. Think of a person living in poverty, who might only get one meal a day, or every other day.
  •  

  • In another idea, a person could write about someone who is hungry in association with a purpose. For example, think of someone on a hunger strike.
  •  

  • A person might also write about hunger associated with an eating disorder.
  •  

  • Hunger could also be used metaphorically in poetry. A person could hunger for many things other than food.  A poet could write about those.

 

Here is a humorous example poem using hunger:

M. Sakran is hungry,
  (oh … remember the Scotch egg from yesterday)
but will not have breakfast,
until this post is done.

Oh why isn’t the post done yet?!