Poem with an explanation: the weight of sand

Looking in the sand,
and seeing,
the imaginary reality,
for all the suns,
and all the moons.

Standing there,
silently speaking,
reflecting on sand,
and wondering.

In the corner,
a tally is made,
in the thoughts,
an inverse of worth.

The equation is simple,
so the figures say,
reduce x,
increase y,
reduce z.
Adding the numbers,
the answer doesn’t match.

In the cave,
thinking of sand,
and wondering if,
someone else,
will ever be there.

 

This poem is about a person struggling with their weight.  It is about the negative feelings a person can have as they have this struggle.  It is about the emotions a person can go through as they stand in the bathroom, look at themselves in the mirror, and weigh themselves on a scale.

At the start of the poem, the person looks in the mirror (Looking in the sand), and sees their reflection (and seeing).  The image they see is real, in the sense that it is what they really look like, but it is also distorted by their perception of themselves (the imaginary reality).  They have stood in front of the mirror on a regular basis for years (for all the suns, and all the moons) and looked at themselves like this.

The person stands in front of the mirror (Standing there), and they talk to themselves aloud.  They see their reflection speaking even though it isn’t making a sound (silently speaking).  They talk about how long they have been overweight (reflecting on sand – sand representing time and their image in the mirror), and they wonder if they will ever be able to change how they are (and wondering).

The person is in a bathroom.  In the corner (In the corner), there is a scale.  The person weighs themselves (a tally is made) and the person feels that the higher their weight the less their worth (in the thoughts, and inverse of worth).

As the person steps off of the scale, they think of the often repeated advice (The equation is simple, so the figures say): eat less (reduce x), move more (increase y), and weight will go down (reduce z).  The person thinks of their reality where they have done this (Adding the numbers), and thinks about how it hasn’t worked for them (the answer doesn’t match).

The person stands against their bathroom door (In the cave), and they think of time and how their reflection looks in the mirror (thinking of sand), and they wonder if (and wondering if) they will ever change how they are (someone else, will ever be there).

 

If you like poems with explanations, please consider purchasing a copy of M. Sakran’s self-published eBook, Understanding: poems with explanations.  It contains twenty original poems, with explanations of each of them.  The main purpose of the book is to help readers expand their understanding of poetry through the explanations.

Understanding: poems with explanations is available for a current price of $0.99 (plus tax where applicable).  It is also available in currencies other than the U.S. dollar.  It can be purchased with British Pounds, Euros (1, 2, 3, 4, 5), Japanese Yen, Brazilian Reals, Canadian Dollars, Mexican Pesos, Australian Dollars and Indian Rupees.

 

Post Series: Poems with Explanations: Introduction and Poem one (Three days)

As mentioned yesterday, M. Sakran has self-published a book of poems with explanations called Understanding: poems with explanations.  It is currently available as an eBook for an available price of $0.99.  Learn more about the book in yesterday’s post.  Buy your copy today!

To help celebrate this self-publication, there is going to be, starting today, a post series of poems with explanations here on the blog.  The series will consist of twenty posts (counting this one).  Each post will have a poem with an explanation.

As a point of clarity, these poems with explanations are NOT the same ones as in Understanding: poems with explanations.  These poems with explanations are different from the ones in the book.

Should anything of note happen during the series, it will be mentioned in a P.S. to a post.  Also, generally, there should be a post in the series each weekday, until the series is done.  If for some reason, there will be a weekday without a post, that will be mentioned in the post on the weekday before, at the latest.

Here is the first poem and explanation:

Three days

Walking around,
with that look,
and a moment,
of possibilities,

and then,
with a glance,
  a glance so regretted,
seen on the wall,
the rows.

A flood,
a feeling,
a speechless wonder,
and there standing,
wanting to run,
away.

But obligation,
but social situation,
but something about,
inner strength,

sitting down,
  not like a moment before,
and feeling it all,
and wondering,
what to do.

 

In this poem, a person is asked to house sit for some friends.  The poem starts, with the person in the house, right after the friends have left.  The person is going to be house sitting for three days.  That is the underlying beginning premise of the poem.  Within in this though, there is a poem about addiction.

The person in the poem is an alcoholic.  They are sober, and have been for a few months.  Their addiction was not on their mind when they agreed to house sit.  The friends, did not know of the situation.  The problem in the poem occurs, when as the person walks around the house, they see a wine bar, that they did not know was there.  The person then experiences a struggle.

In the first stanza, the person is in the house right after the friends have left.  They start by Walking around, and they have a certain stereotypical look of wonderment (with that look) as they take in the house, which is much better than the one they live in.  As they are there, they think of all they might do during this three day, what feels like, vacation (and a moment, of possibilities).

As the person is having this positive moment, in the second stanza, something changes (and then).  The person happens to move their eyes (with a glance), and in an instant, they regret it (a glance so regretted).  The person happened to look (seen on the wall) and see wine bottles on the wall (the rows).

When this happens, as expressed in the third stanza, the person is overwhelmed (A flood, a feeling, a speechless wonder).  In part, they have battled their addiction, and started to be sober, by avoiding alcohol.  In that instant, they feel confined (and there standing) and they want to run away and get away from this (wanting to run, away).  They are worried they will give in to their addiction.

In their mind, but not in their body, they almost move toward the front door to flee.  This is stopped though by their mind.  They feel they can’t leave.  They feel an obligation to their friends (But obligation) and they wonder how it would look to tell them that they are an alcoholic (which their friends do not know) and that they cannot handle being in the house.  They feel this would be socially awkward (but social situation).  In addition to these feelings, they also have a sense that they should be able to face this situation.  They feel like they should be able to resist the bottles on the wall (but something about, inner strength).

In the last stanza, the person sits down on a couch (sitting down), and there is a quick moment where they realize how everything has changed from just a moment before (not like a moment before).  They feel very overwhelmed (and feeling it all) and they wonder what they are going to do (and wondering, what to do).

This poem is essentially about a person facing an unexpected temptation in an addiction.  The poem is called Three days, because of the time in the house, but also because of the idea that that is how long the person will be facing this particular trial.

In terms of form, this poem is five stanzas long.  Stanzas one and two were written as one sentence, as were stanzas four and five.

The poem was written as a free verse poem, with the two indentions (one in the second stanza and one in the fifth) meant to set those two moments apart.

Although the poem is free verse, there are some interesting, although some in some sense unintentional, form elements.

Stanza one, for example, has a word count per line of 2, 3, 3, 2.  This seems like a pattern and is coincidently, the same word count pattern found in stanza four.

In the fourth stanza, there was the intentional form element of having the pairing of obligation and situation in lines one and two.  There was an idea of repeating a sound.  Additionally, the two but‘s in lines two and three also made a pairing.

As mentioned, the two indentions of stanzas two and five, were intentional and were meant to set those moments apart.